Your name is victorious

So you heard of that new movie Paranormal Activity?


Some of you may have heard of it and some of you may just have seen it. Well, I saw it last Friday. I must say that movie was pretty disturbing... considering the fact that I could relate to it. Not just I, but I'm sure many.

Practically, the way the movie was filmed was like the movie, Blair Witch Project. So, it looked like a home video and not really a movie. The story is practically about a couple who are living together and experiences some kind of intruder in their home, especially when they're asleep. It's not really about monsters or ghosts, but more like demonic or spiritual disturbances.

After watching that movie with some friends, that night... or even the next couple of nights, I had trouble sleeping. I prayed and prayed and slept in a fetal position. I wasn't scared OF the movie but my own personal experiences. I've had something occur to me that were very similar to theirs, but not at that level though... then I'd probably go crazy.

During my disturbances, I would have these so called "Sleep Paralysis". It is when the brain awakes during REM state, but the body paralysis persists. Which leaves you fully conscious but unable to move... sometimes it can last for a few seconds or even minutes. Some even had terrifying hallucinations or feel some sense of danger. Scientists were never able to clarify the real reason to why it happens, but people believe that it is a demonic visitation... and I am one of those who believe that.

One moment in my life, it happened for a whole week. While I'm asleep... I suddenly would wake up but couldn't move. I would try to open my eyes but won't be able to... then I'd feel someone is on top of me with its hands around my neck. How do I know this? I can feel the weight on me, especially on my ankles and my wrists. Sometimes, I even catch myself gasping for air uncontrollably as if I'm being suffocated. I would wake up in an "X" position just how I felt during my paralysis. One time, I was actually able to open my eyes and saw a white fog hovering me. A slight figure but it was very unclear. Another time, I felt like someone dragged my from one side of my bed to the other... which felt really real because I always sleep by the wall.. and woke up at the edge of my bed. There was one point I also felt possessed... I can't even explain it, but that was just ONCE.. and it never happened again.

So, I spoke to Pastor about it.

He asked when it was happening and came to a conclusion that all these disturbances started happening when I was heading towards the light, Jesus Christ. This was the beginning of 2008 or end of 2007... around that area. That was the time when I started going to Church and started to participate and be involved. Pastor told me... if it happens again, just say "In the name of Jesus Christ, be gone!".

Okay, so honestly, I thought this was not going to work and sounded a bit ridiculous but you know what.. IT DID happen again and the first thing I thought of was what Pastor told me to say. No joke, this felt like a battle! When I was about to say His name.. I couldn't do it. I stuttered, it wouldn't come out of my mouth! Then I finally was able to say "In the name of, In the name of JESU---" and it disappeared... and believe or not, it NEVER came back.

Isn't that crazy? How POWERFUL is His name? I didn't even get to finish saying it and it disappeared!

The reason? I think it's because Satan was losing me so he had to bother me. Relating to my old post in "Suffering as a Christian" (2nd post of this blog), there should be a couple of paragraphs explaining.

From the bible, in Jesus Drives Out an Evil Spirit (Mark 1:21-28), when Jesus casts out the demon from the man, people were astonished. "The people were all so amazed that they asked each other, 'What is this? A new teaching and with authority! He even gives orders to evil spirits and they obey him" (Mark 1:27). The demon couldn't even fight to stay in the man, but immediately leaves the body without hesitation. You can also look into Jesus Heals a Boy with an Evil Spirit (Mark 9:14-29), where Jesus also gets rid of the demon that was in the boy and even gets the boy back to his feet. After Jesus commanded the evil spirit to leave, his disciples asked Him to why they weren't they able to drive it out. Jesus responded, "Only prayer can drive this kind out, nothing else can" (Mark 9:29).

BAM! Only He can get rid of it without a fight.

With this verse that I found...

"You are the King and my God,
who decrees victories for Jacob.
Through You we push back our enemies;
through Your name we trample our foes.
I do not trust in my bow,
my sword does not bring me victory;
but You give us victory over our enemies,
You put our adversaries to shame.
In God we make our boast all day long,
and we will praise your name forever."
(Psalm 44:4-8).

AMEN!

Seriously though, you shouldn't be afraid when you start experiencing these things. As long as God is in you, they won't be able to touch you. These demons feed off from negative energy and that's how they get close to you, so don't show any fear or do not even be afraid. Just pray EVERY NIGHT before you go to sleep, reassure yourself and KNOW that God got your back! and you won't have any disturbances while you sleep. After watching Paranormal Activity, I started to pray every night and I just keep saying His name because I know I am under His protection.

These things didn't only happen to me, but even a couple of my friends who had these experiences got rid of it by saying His name. I know it sounds crazy, but it's SO TRUE.

His name is truly victorious.

Falling into temptation

"Let no one deceive you with empty words, because of such things G0d's wrath has come on those who are disobedient. Therefore, do not be partners with them."
(Ephesians 5:6-7)



These 2 verses spoke to me the moment I flipped the bible open. It's pretty crazy because I needed this, relating to what happened today...

I did something bad that I didn't plan on doing or even wanted to do. I'm pretty damn ashamed of it.

I was hanging out with a very close friend of mine at the mall. We were shopping and we always shop together. All the times I've shopped with her, she's always done the "5 finger discount"... and I used to always convince her not to do it... and she has given me stuff before that she's stolen -_-"... Anyway, she's never told me to do it until recently, where she really pressured me to do it. We were at H&M and tried on clothes. I really liked this one top and she really liked it on me too.. but the price wasn't so lovely, so I decided to not purchase it. She comes right at me and the rips off the tag and the security thing on it and gives me that look... (she was able to do this because there were no employees in the fitting room at that moment) I told her I wouldn't do it... but she kept saying to do it over and over. I stood my ground for 10 minutes telling her I wouldn't do it. What made it so tempting was because she already gave me a head start. If the tag and stuff was still on it, I wouldn't do it at all, but because I had one more step which is to put it in my bag... I should just do it. Which I ended up doing... and felt like crapola for the rest of the day (that was just the beginning of our shopping too...) I did not feel good at all about it.. I wanted to repent right away and never to do it again. My friend told me "It's my fault, not yours, I made you do it" but that doesn't change the fact that I still put that thing in my bag! I still stole something... and for me to do that, I obviously wanted it and wanted to do it.. blah. Not cool.

Anyway, back to that verse... I confessed to a couple of friends and even Pastor about this situation. The last verse "Do not be partners with them" was like... DANG yo. Pastor told me it's literal and I shouldn't be assicioated with people like them because they're sinning which may also influence me to sin too, but that's hard! I can't cut off a friend like that, especially when she is really close to me. She is a nice girl and has done a lot for me, but the things she does are bad.. but I was never influenced to do anything t'll that day.. that was the first time she has ever told me to do something bad or pressured me. People have told me I should listen to Pastor but that's something I cannot do. I guess I'll just be the light for her and somehow get her to stop instead. I won't let her influence me but hoping that maybe I can influence her... but man! I was really disappointed at myself for even falling into temptation like that! I usually am strong, but I guess I still have weak spots that I need to work on to stand strong with my morals. GAHHHH.. never again!
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Sinner, don't decieve yourself.

"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us all from all unrighteousness"
(1 John 1:8-10)

Looking at this verse reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend...

I know I don't do bad things, like drugs, drinking, and etc. So I always looked at myself as pure. I get offended when people don't think of me as this person and get really defensive over it. I guess, in a way, it's my pride. I am damn proud of my purity and don't wanna taint it... but I make myself sound like I've never done ANYTHING bad in my life, that I actually catch myself looking down on people who have. I mean, I'm glad I have done nothing crazy like that for me to regret and I sometimes feel that I brag about it. I am actually deceiving myself when I think this way because I am judging and condemning others.

Verse 8 "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us" and there we go. I always do this. I think myself as better than everyone else sometimes for doing stupid crap when really, I'm the same level as them. I am as bad as everyone else without having to do any of those things.

But, as long as I realize this, God will forgive me... and I will try to keep this in mind! All are sinners, including myself regardless of the "level" of sins I've done.

It is HIS to avenge; He will repay.

"Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay' says the Lord."
(Romans 12:9-19)

So it says, if anyone ever does you wrong, do not try and get them back... that is repaying evil for evil, which equals to revenge. Regardless of how evil and wrong that is done to you, try to live at peace with everyone, do what you know is right, and that is not to take action. Instead, live peace with everyone. God doesn't want you to hate or to sin against another. Just listen to Him and love one another... It says here, "leave room for God's wrath", so leave the rest up to God, He will take care of it.

When I read this... I thought of my mom.

I have a huge family history, many unpleasant things happened, but I learned to accept it. I was thinking of how my mother dealt with the situation. Practically, my mom thirsted for revenge and felt that the only thing that can satisfy her was to somehow make my father suffer. Obviously, my dad did do something really stupid that caused all the commotion, which lead to this. Let me explain to you how my mother is... I love her to death, she's my mom, but there are times where she does some really crazy, off the top, things to others. As if, she takes pleasure from it... which I don't really understand. Once you get to her bad side, it's over. Anyway, when bad things happen to her, she keeps saying "what goes around, comes around"... so she believes in karma, I mean, okay sure, but she MAKES karma happen. Like I said, by avenging herself and bothering or trying to hurt the ones who has done her wrong will be her "karma" for them. I wish she read this before she did anything, but I guess her wrath took over. I kind of don't understand also, because she keeps saying that she'll leave it up to God for what happened in our family, but she's still the one trying to get back at my dad. She's done some really messed up things to get him back... and look now, the tables turned. I mean, my dad got a taste of his wrong doings. He suffered through her, but what my mom was also doing were really... just unacceptable as well, especially involving the kids. She wasn't being mature of the situation and just continued what satisfied and pleasured her. Because of that, she also had to suffer... when all she could've done was move on and let "karma" do its thing. God would've taken care of everything for her and she wouldn't have to go through all this.

I want to just read this verse to my mom, repetitively.

Whenever someone does something wrong to you, you obviously want to get them back too. Let them taste their own medicine, ya know? I mean, I've tried that before and I'm sure you guys have also... but don't you feel crappy after? After you successfully get them back? I know, I do. that's why I've learned to just not do anything at all. As much as I wanna punch, deck, kick 'em in the face, I'm not going to do it, because I never wanna stoop down to their level. There are times where I regret not getting them back or doing something about it, but if I did... I know I'd regret far more that not avenging. I believed in karma before too... I let it happen on its own, but after reading this verse, now I will leave it up to God, He will take care of it.

So you should too! It is HIS to avenge, He will repay. Follow His word and just love your enemy, regardless of what is done towards you.

This is the perfect solution...
"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."
(Romans 12:21)

Word.

Suffering for Being a Christian

"If you suffer as Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name."
(Peter 4:16)

"So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good."
(Peter 4:19)


These 2 verses explains that if you are suffering for being a christian, such as: being mocked, lost friends, treated differently, and other things that you feel may have gone wrong ever since you became christian or something that you've always faced for being a christian, do not be ashamed of it, but continue doing what you're doing and praise Him. In fact, you should boast God.

When I started heading towards God, I actually went through some things I've never encountered before. I would actually consider these incidents as one of my depressing times, because I've never had issues like these in my life before.

I've actually lost some friends because I started going to church more and being more involved. I had to go through some really unnecessary drama. It got to the point where I felt like I had no friends... and it was during my senior year of High School too, which is horrible. They thought I've chosen my church friends over them and one actually argued with me by saying "How long have you known these people, a couple of months? You've known us longer and you choose them over us". Goodness gracious, obviously I fought over it because it wasn't like that. It didn't make sense to me because some of them SHOULD know better than that. I just went to Flushing (where my church was located) during the weekends. The rest of the week, we had school, so I saw them everyday. The weekend was always booked, because I would go on Saturdays, the only day I was able to go because the bus runs during that day (not Sundays) and I would end up sleeping over at my friend's house so I could go to church the next day. I would go to school and not talk to anybody, not my usual crew at least. We would have awkward "hellos" or sometimes, we don't even say anything or even look at each other! I just wanted the day to end and always looked forward for the weekends. The weekends felt like a get away to me. I just couldn't wait to go to church and see my church friends.

Towards the end of Senior year was just horrible. Especially my graduation, I had a depressing one. I didn't even get to spend it with my Senior friends. I was the only one who wasn't able to hang with them, but they did. I didn't even see a lot of them during graduation either. I just wanted to feel relieved that all of this drama would be over and that I would just look forward to making new friends in college. Later on during that day, I hung out with an old close friend who actually came by to see me graduate, all the way from Georgia, which REALLY made my day, as well as a surprise graduation from my fellow brothers and sister in Christ :). I was really grateful! It was the best surprise ever!... but in the back of my mind, I was still sort of sad that I couldn't spend it with the people I originally wanted to spend it with.

Then I started to have these "sleep paralysis" experiences. I always felt a demonic vibe whenever it happened. As if someone was on top of me, hold me down, and trying to strangle me type of thing. I would be gasping for air and sometimes I'd be sweating a river and got my heart jumpin' like crazy. Once, I actually saw something hovering over me, which was just a white fog... thank God it was only ONCE! These things just straight up bothered my slumber! It only happened in my sleep though, and I'd have them almost everyday. I started to think that my room was possessed or something. Sometimes, if it really bothered me, I'd call my cousins to talk about it and they would always tell me to pray. I'd pray before I go to sleep and when I do, I sleep peacefully.

One day, I shared this to my friend and he said, he went through to a very similar situation. He told me his stories and his sounded a lot freakier than mine. Then he told me how he told Pastor about this. My friend suggested that whenever it happens, say "In the name of Jesus Christ, be gone" and that it worked. Honestly, I thought it felt a little bogus. In my mind, I said to myself.. "Nahhh.... that's silly". When that sleep paralysis happened again, I automatically said "In the name of Je-Je-Jes-" and before I can finish my sentence, it vanished! I was like man! His name is POWERFUL. I told Pastor about this too... like months later when it stopped. He asked me when this all happened and etc. Then he said "This was during the time when you just started going to church right?" I was like "Yeah? what about?" then he explained that the devil was trying to pull me away from God, because I was heading towards the light, the devil was losing me, so he did everything he could to pull me away from Him by going through all that drama with my friends and other stuff like that... even to the point of even bothering my spiritually in my sleep. Which made sense to me because I never had it before until I started going to church.

You know what, ever since I moved forward with God, everything's going gravy again. Everything's SLOWLY going into place with my friends. One by one, I was able to rekindle some friendships which was really nice and a blessing.

See?! MANNNN, GOD IS GOOD! Even though we may go through some hardships along the run, God will make it right in the future. Just be patient and focus in trying to know more about Him. So do not be ashamed and continue to do good :) just put everything in His hands.... because in God's hands is in GOOD hands!

Amen :D

Quiet Time Blog

I've decided that this blog will be a QT blog... or just updates of my spiritual life.

"What is a QT?" would be the first thing people would ask me.


Well, it means Quiet Time. It'd be a time where you open the word of God (the bible) and just take your time flipping through pages, reading it as you browse around, find a verse/story/chapter that you find that you can relate and reflect on. If you have trouble understanding or something, call a Christian friend, your pastor, or do some crazy research! :) (I'm actually lazy for that...) but, take your time as you do it. It's like spending quality time with God! So sit back, chillax, read that bible! It really helps you in many different ways... and I know it has with me :)

Don't forget to pray before you start and when you finish, aii!? fasho.

But yeah, what made me decide to do this?

Well... I'm trying to get to learn more about God and building a better relationship with Him. I never really got to do that before and do it seriously... but this time, I want God to be a part of my daily life and not just a God that I believe in. SO! This would be a start right? I'm gonna try to do QTs as much as I can in a week. There are times where I do get lazy and don't do it, but I just wanna slowly make it a habit and a part of my routine.

Just gotta keep doing my thang! mmHmm.