Sinner, don't decieve yourself.

"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us all from all unrighteousness"
(1 John 1:8-10)

Looking at this verse reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend...

I know I don't do bad things, like drugs, drinking, and etc. So I always looked at myself as pure. I get offended when people don't think of me as this person and get really defensive over it. I guess, in a way, it's my pride. I am damn proud of my purity and don't wanna taint it... but I make myself sound like I've never done ANYTHING bad in my life, that I actually catch myself looking down on people who have. I mean, I'm glad I have done nothing crazy like that for me to regret and I sometimes feel that I brag about it. I am actually deceiving myself when I think this way because I am judging and condemning others.

Verse 8 "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us" and there we go. I always do this. I think myself as better than everyone else sometimes for doing stupid crap when really, I'm the same level as them. I am as bad as everyone else without having to do any of those things.

But, as long as I realize this, God will forgive me... and I will try to keep this in mind! All are sinners, including myself regardless of the "level" of sins I've done.

It is HIS to avenge; He will repay.

"Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay' says the Lord."
(Romans 12:9-19)

So it says, if anyone ever does you wrong, do not try and get them back... that is repaying evil for evil, which equals to revenge. Regardless of how evil and wrong that is done to you, try to live at peace with everyone, do what you know is right, and that is not to take action. Instead, live peace with everyone. God doesn't want you to hate or to sin against another. Just listen to Him and love one another... It says here, "leave room for God's wrath", so leave the rest up to God, He will take care of it.

When I read this... I thought of my mom.

I have a huge family history, many unpleasant things happened, but I learned to accept it. I was thinking of how my mother dealt with the situation. Practically, my mom thirsted for revenge and felt that the only thing that can satisfy her was to somehow make my father suffer. Obviously, my dad did do something really stupid that caused all the commotion, which lead to this. Let me explain to you how my mother is... I love her to death, she's my mom, but there are times where she does some really crazy, off the top, things to others. As if, she takes pleasure from it... which I don't really understand. Once you get to her bad side, it's over. Anyway, when bad things happen to her, she keeps saying "what goes around, comes around"... so she believes in karma, I mean, okay sure, but she MAKES karma happen. Like I said, by avenging herself and bothering or trying to hurt the ones who has done her wrong will be her "karma" for them. I wish she read this before she did anything, but I guess her wrath took over. I kind of don't understand also, because she keeps saying that she'll leave it up to God for what happened in our family, but she's still the one trying to get back at my dad. She's done some really messed up things to get him back... and look now, the tables turned. I mean, my dad got a taste of his wrong doings. He suffered through her, but what my mom was also doing were really... just unacceptable as well, especially involving the kids. She wasn't being mature of the situation and just continued what satisfied and pleasured her. Because of that, she also had to suffer... when all she could've done was move on and let "karma" do its thing. God would've taken care of everything for her and she wouldn't have to go through all this.

I want to just read this verse to my mom, repetitively.

Whenever someone does something wrong to you, you obviously want to get them back too. Let them taste their own medicine, ya know? I mean, I've tried that before and I'm sure you guys have also... but don't you feel crappy after? After you successfully get them back? I know, I do. that's why I've learned to just not do anything at all. As much as I wanna punch, deck, kick 'em in the face, I'm not going to do it, because I never wanna stoop down to their level. There are times where I regret not getting them back or doing something about it, but if I did... I know I'd regret far more that not avenging. I believed in karma before too... I let it happen on its own, but after reading this verse, now I will leave it up to God, He will take care of it.

So you should too! It is HIS to avenge, He will repay. Follow His word and just love your enemy, regardless of what is done towards you.

This is the perfect solution...
"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."
(Romans 12:21)

Word.

Suffering for Being a Christian

"If you suffer as Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name."
(Peter 4:16)

"So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good."
(Peter 4:19)


These 2 verses explains that if you are suffering for being a christian, such as: being mocked, lost friends, treated differently, and other things that you feel may have gone wrong ever since you became christian or something that you've always faced for being a christian, do not be ashamed of it, but continue doing what you're doing and praise Him. In fact, you should boast God.

When I started heading towards God, I actually went through some things I've never encountered before. I would actually consider these incidents as one of my depressing times, because I've never had issues like these in my life before.

I've actually lost some friends because I started going to church more and being more involved. I had to go through some really unnecessary drama. It got to the point where I felt like I had no friends... and it was during my senior year of High School too, which is horrible. They thought I've chosen my church friends over them and one actually argued with me by saying "How long have you known these people, a couple of months? You've known us longer and you choose them over us". Goodness gracious, obviously I fought over it because it wasn't like that. It didn't make sense to me because some of them SHOULD know better than that. I just went to Flushing (where my church was located) during the weekends. The rest of the week, we had school, so I saw them everyday. The weekend was always booked, because I would go on Saturdays, the only day I was able to go because the bus runs during that day (not Sundays) and I would end up sleeping over at my friend's house so I could go to church the next day. I would go to school and not talk to anybody, not my usual crew at least. We would have awkward "hellos" or sometimes, we don't even say anything or even look at each other! I just wanted the day to end and always looked forward for the weekends. The weekends felt like a get away to me. I just couldn't wait to go to church and see my church friends.

Towards the end of Senior year was just horrible. Especially my graduation, I had a depressing one. I didn't even get to spend it with my Senior friends. I was the only one who wasn't able to hang with them, but they did. I didn't even see a lot of them during graduation either. I just wanted to feel relieved that all of this drama would be over and that I would just look forward to making new friends in college. Later on during that day, I hung out with an old close friend who actually came by to see me graduate, all the way from Georgia, which REALLY made my day, as well as a surprise graduation from my fellow brothers and sister in Christ :). I was really grateful! It was the best surprise ever!... but in the back of my mind, I was still sort of sad that I couldn't spend it with the people I originally wanted to spend it with.

Then I started to have these "sleep paralysis" experiences. I always felt a demonic vibe whenever it happened. As if someone was on top of me, hold me down, and trying to strangle me type of thing. I would be gasping for air and sometimes I'd be sweating a river and got my heart jumpin' like crazy. Once, I actually saw something hovering over me, which was just a white fog... thank God it was only ONCE! These things just straight up bothered my slumber! It only happened in my sleep though, and I'd have them almost everyday. I started to think that my room was possessed or something. Sometimes, if it really bothered me, I'd call my cousins to talk about it and they would always tell me to pray. I'd pray before I go to sleep and when I do, I sleep peacefully.

One day, I shared this to my friend and he said, he went through to a very similar situation. He told me his stories and his sounded a lot freakier than mine. Then he told me how he told Pastor about this. My friend suggested that whenever it happens, say "In the name of Jesus Christ, be gone" and that it worked. Honestly, I thought it felt a little bogus. In my mind, I said to myself.. "Nahhh.... that's silly". When that sleep paralysis happened again, I automatically said "In the name of Je-Je-Jes-" and before I can finish my sentence, it vanished! I was like man! His name is POWERFUL. I told Pastor about this too... like months later when it stopped. He asked me when this all happened and etc. Then he said "This was during the time when you just started going to church right?" I was like "Yeah? what about?" then he explained that the devil was trying to pull me away from God, because I was heading towards the light, the devil was losing me, so he did everything he could to pull me away from Him by going through all that drama with my friends and other stuff like that... even to the point of even bothering my spiritually in my sleep. Which made sense to me because I never had it before until I started going to church.

You know what, ever since I moved forward with God, everything's going gravy again. Everything's SLOWLY going into place with my friends. One by one, I was able to rekindle some friendships which was really nice and a blessing.

See?! MANNNN, GOD IS GOOD! Even though we may go through some hardships along the run, God will make it right in the future. Just be patient and focus in trying to know more about Him. So do not be ashamed and continue to do good :) just put everything in His hands.... because in God's hands is in GOOD hands!

Amen :D

Quiet Time Blog

I've decided that this blog will be a QT blog... or just updates of my spiritual life.

"What is a QT?" would be the first thing people would ask me.


Well, it means Quiet Time. It'd be a time where you open the word of God (the bible) and just take your time flipping through pages, reading it as you browse around, find a verse/story/chapter that you find that you can relate and reflect on. If you have trouble understanding or something, call a Christian friend, your pastor, or do some crazy research! :) (I'm actually lazy for that...) but, take your time as you do it. It's like spending quality time with God! So sit back, chillax, read that bible! It really helps you in many different ways... and I know it has with me :)

Don't forget to pray before you start and when you finish, aii!? fasho.

But yeah, what made me decide to do this?

Well... I'm trying to get to learn more about God and building a better relationship with Him. I never really got to do that before and do it seriously... but this time, I want God to be a part of my daily life and not just a God that I believe in. SO! This would be a start right? I'm gonna try to do QTs as much as I can in a week. There are times where I do get lazy and don't do it, but I just wanna slowly make it a habit and a part of my routine.

Just gotta keep doing my thang! mmHmm.